Paddy and murphy joke book

Paddy and mick were both laid off, so they went to the unemployment office. The other man shouted up now, now to his friend who promptly pulled him up. See more ideas about paddy jokes, jokes and irish jokes. Murphy was on track to becoming an upstanding, successful, and lawabiding citizen, but life has a funny way of fucking up plans, and a few things didnt go his way. Barty was trapped in a bog and seemed a goner when big mick oreilly. He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts im a lightbulb, im a lightbulb. Paddys in the bathroom and murphy shouts to him did you find the. Murphy, whats dis, yuv got a sign up sayin boat for sale. Short irish jokes one liners funny short stories non irish. And then remus is in the corner with lily reading a book and trying not to be too amused with the scene the marauders and baby harry. Paddy walks into a bar and asks for ten shots of the establishments finest single malt scotch. Top 30 of the funniest irish jokes that guarantee you a laugh. Spread the humourirish jokes many a funny irish joke the first section are oneliners while the second section are funny short stories.

Paddy says to murphy im gonna have the day off, im gonna pretend im mad. Paddy and murphy are working on a building site funny irish jokes. Omalley and the scuba diver oconnor and the fierce dog which of these do you think is the funnier irish joke. This entry was posted in jokes and tagged humour, irish humour, irish jokes, joke s, paddy, paddy humour, paddy jokes. He then takes the last one in the and does the same. Paddy says to murphy, well, buddy, im going to get a day off by pretending to be mad. You can read it here, and if you enjoy irish jokes you will also enjoy these irish memes. Our humor blog post a wide range of funny adult jokes ranging from funny dirty jokes, pictures, funny adult cartoons comics to funny ecards, memes, fails. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and hes walking with a limp. As i am sure we have all heard at least 1 paddy and mick joke. Murphy and obrien go out into the woods, they come to a clearing and see an abandoned well. A cop car pulls him over as he veers about all over the road. My teacher is called murphy makes the joke even funnier.

Paddy was on his death bed and knew the end was near. In honour of st patricks day, here are some of the best irish jokes around. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head. Paddy has an idea, he takes the 50 cents of sean, goes to a butchers and buys a sausage.

Obrien said, theres one way we could figure it out. Mick picked it up to his face and said to paddy jez, that look like sean to which paddy replied no sean was taller than that grant me a sense of humor, lord, the saving grace to see a joke, to win some happiness from life, and pass it on to other folks. Like most people of irish descent, i love funny irish jokes. The stewardess asked the muslim if hed like a drink. Even though they died when harry was this is cute beyond words. Paddy is walking down the street eating a bag of doughnuts, he meets murphy who says can i have a doughnut if i can guess how many is in the bag. He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts im a lightbulb. One day an englishman, a scotsman, and an irishman walked into a pub together. Posted in paddy jokes tagged funny irish joke, funny joke, funny jokes, funny paddy joke, funny paddy jokes, humour, irish joke, irish jokes, joke, jokes, mick and paddy jokes, paddy and mike joke, paddy joke, paddy jokes leave a comment paddy and mick joke. Paddy, said murphy, how does it happen that when you drink, you cant remember peoples names. Two best friends, paddy and murphy, are working on the site of an office building.

When they got home, paddy turned to murphy and said, murphy, how we gonna tell who owns which pig. Ya havent got a boat, yuv only got a traktor and a caravan. Only the best funny paddy jokes and best paddy websites as selected and voted by visitors of joke buddha website. Funny irish jokes our longest short story funny short irish stories a collection read more. Paddy and murphy jokes puzzles and riddles make my. And for many, many more funny irish jokes, you can always visit our main section on irish jokes here. However, i have no doubt that many people will be offended by the irish jokes on this page. A facebook page that is full of humour, please feel free to write down your own paddy and murphy jokes on this page. Many short irish jokes are about the differences between men and women. The operator asks how many people are flying with you. Paddy tells the cop about all the trees in the road. Paddy on death row gets the choice to be shot, hung or injected with the aids virus. Funny signs, funny jokes, memes humor, funny shit, irish jokes, irish humor, paddy jokes, paddy murphy. Youve done very well so far, said chris tarrant, the shows presenter, but for one million pounds, youve only got.

His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons are with him at his home in belfast. He stops his car and knocks on his mate murphys house. He asks for 2 independent witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes. If you get it right you can have both of them replies paddy. I got this idea from a very simpleand old irish joke. Paddy and mick were having a few beers at the bar together recounting old times when the call of nature caused them to line up at the stainless. Operator asks, how many people are flying with you. Spread the humourirish jokes and short stories funniest irish jokes will and guy have collected the finest examples of irish humour. Paddy and murphy went out one day and each bought a pig. An irishman an englishman and a scotsman fionas place.

A few of these have already been shared on the irish jokes facebook page but a few of these irish jokes will be sent out over the next few weeks. Into a belfast pub comes paddy murphy, looking like hed just been run over by a train. Shamus and murphy fancied a pint or two but didnt have a lot of money between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one euro. Paddy and murphy decide one fine, sunny day to take their boat out and spend the afternoon fishing. Address another army back ethnic first friend give head himself home hussein irish know mick murphy one paddy phone pull replies road said seamus sean tell think thousand. Provided to youtube by absolute marketing international ltd pat and mick dave hayes the best irish jokes. If youre looking for another one of our top hilarious irish jokes, this is it. Murphy thinks on his feet and decides to throw paddy a match, paddy.

A visitor to a small irish village commented to a local garda that it was a quiet little place. Read through them, have a laugh, then share your own. Heres a list of really funny and naughty jokes for you. Go read another article on the internet and let the rest of us have our fun. It was paddy and seamus giving the motorcycle a ride on a brisk autumn day. What are some really sarcastic and naughty pickup lines. Paddy and sean are planning to go out on a saturday night, but only have 50 cents between them. The closest race i ever saw, said the scotsman, was a horse race, in which a horse, stung by a bee, won by the length of the swelling on his nose. This belongs in the introduction to ye grand olde book of dirty jokes. Paddy jokes, paddy murphy, irish movies, irish proverbs, dark jokes, irish quotes, irish eyes are smiling, whiskey drinks, one liner. Paddy, is it dark down there paddy replies i dont know i cant see. Murphy says, well paddy, ill cut one a ta ears off my pig, and ten we can tell em apart. Paddy was driving home, drunk as a skunk, suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another.

Nevertheless, his smarts cultivated from both the pages of the book and the blood of the streets allowed him to rise the. Buy the little book of irish jokes by cormac obrien isbn. Paddy and mick are walking down the road and paddy has a bag of doughnuts in his hand. Paddy is driving past murphy s house one day and notices a sign in his garden saying. Sean is really pissed off at first that paddy spent their last money on a sausage, but paddy lets him in on his plan. An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman were discussing close races in the pub. The bartender sets him up, and paddy takes the first shot in the row and pours it on the floor. Some may be good some may be cp here are just a few to get the ball rolling. Paddy and murphy were walking down a road one day, paddy said, murphy, can you see that beautiful wood over there murphy, i cant see, theirs trees in the way. Paddy and murphy are walking by a side road where construction is progressing, paddy falls down a hole, murphy shots down.